Instead of making a pros and cons list, try making an All-Good-Things list. This can only have positive items on it, no matter how much you want to complain about something.  It can be the hopeful spin on a difficult change, a compass for decision-making, or an exercise in appreciating what you have.

My tendencies toward perfectionism and optimizing make me grieve over the little things. As in, “WTF? They put mayonnaise on my burger? I clearly asked for no mayo. Now what am I supposed to eat?  Life sucks!”

When big things hit I get anxious, especially when I have to make a decision. I can hum and haw to the point where other people get annoyed, I get annoyed, and the agony of decision-making can keep me from getting lemonade out of lemons.

Recently my company restructured, and I had to make a decision: reapply for a lower-paying position with a different schedule, or quit and find something else. I decided to stay, but had to give up working alongside people I’ve enjoyed being around for over a decade.  When I first heard about the restructure I was scared I would be laid off, afraid I wouldn’t get a position even if I applied. Quickly, I had gone from being happy to have a job at all to complaining about how Un-Perfect everything was. I needed perspective.

Making an All-Good-Things list is one tool I used to deal with the dissonance over this change.

All-Good-Things about being demoted

1. I get to befriend a new group of people.
2. My kids will get to spend more time with my husband when I work every other weekend.
3. The time I have off during the week will allow me to spend more time writing, with a much quieter house.
4. My pay did not get cut as much as I thought it would, and I will save money on child care.
5. Responsibilities for the new position seem to be short term, day-to-day tasks, so there is an opportunity for less stress.
6. Feel that wind? No, it’s not the hot air I’m blowing up your ass, nor the hot air blowing from my ass. It’s the wind of change, and I feel it nudging me down an exciting path, with less focus on day-job work.
7. I get a 3 day weekend every other week, which is awesome for camping and mini vacations.
8. As an hourly worker I can start making overtime again!
9. I get to stay at my company, close to home with a quick commute.
10. My job as a nurse gives me flexibility and freedom to find work in different venues and specialties. If I don’t end up liking my current position, I can always find something else.

How to make an All-Good-Things list:

1. Find positive things to say about your situation
2. Write them down

Use an All-Good-Things list to deal with change

Keeping positive vibes can be hard when life seems out of your control. It can be easy to feel like a victim, and you can pine over things you only wish were true.  Fear of new challenges can be paralyzing. Making a list of the good, in whatever you’re dealing with, can help affirm your position as someone who is willing to forge ahead and find the silver lining.

Questions to ask yourself:

• What about this change will be different in a good way?
• Will/did you learn something new?
• Is there an opportunity for growth?
• Could things be worse? Are you grateful they’re not?
• What tools do you already possess to get you through this?
• What are you looking forward to?

Want a free, cheesy journal download page to answer these for yourself?

Use an All-Good-Things list to help you make a decision

Quickly write down at least a few things that are good about each option you are considering. Go through them again when you’re done to see how you feel about each one.  If you are having trouble finding good things to say about one of the options, you either don’t have enough information, or this one might not be for you.

How do the different lists make you feel? Does one option give you more feelings of excitement and optimism?

Example: to eat a mayo-covered burger or not—that IS the question.

Option #1–Just eat it

• I’m still hungry
• I can wipe off the mayonnaise
• The food won’t go to waste
• If I’m chewing I can’t simultaneously vocalize my distaste (for mayonnaise and idiots)

Option #2–Don’t eat it

• I can just sit and watch the rest of my family enjoy their burgers, I guess. It’s not my fault that I was the only one born afflicted with MAS (mayonnaise aversion syndrome).
• Those burger people have won the battle in pissing me off. I hope they’re happy with themselves! 😃

I guess I feel more excited about wiping the mayonnaise off and eating it.  So there.

(Side note: being passive-aggressive doesn’t count as positivity. Furthermore, smiley emojis are hard to interpret when you are being sarcastic. Nobody wants a text layered with your psychological problems.)

Free journal download page– All-Good-Things lists for decision-making

Appreciate what you have with an All-Good-Things list

Taking time to list the rad things in your life is a mood-booster. It simply crowds out bad thoughts and attitudes. You can list things as small as the breeze on your skin, or as large as the love in your life. You can focus on the present, or reflect on the past. Be descriptive and feel each thing as you write it.

The little things

Descriptive journaling is meditative. Especially when you are trying to focus on being present and you have a difficult time deflecting other thoughts. Try to describe the sensory input you are experiencing wherever you are, from the view of a contented observer. You can write about what is here, now, and how uniquely great it is.

Free journal download page —All-Good-Things lists: descriptive journaling

Example of descriptive journaling

The bigger things

Almost every morning I’ve been journaling the things I am grateful for and the things I’m excited for, using my Panda Planner. It helps me start the day from a place of hope and appreciation. At the end of the day I list the things that were successful about the last 24 hours, and this helps reset crappy feelings before I go to bed.

All-Good-Things lists are like a personal coach for staying on the sunny side. There are a million lists I can make about the awesomeness in my life and in the world. Sometimes writing a few things down can remind me of that, in case I’ve forgotten. 😃