When I was a much younger and wilder me I used to call in fake sick to work at my retail sales job, claiming a maiming or exaggerating cold symptoms. I wouldn’t do this all the time, but when I needed a day to wallow on my futon, or sneak away on an impromptu road trip, it was an option I considered.

Fast forward 20 years to tonight, when my backup babysitter has awakened me from slumber to call in sick. (The regular babysitter has already been sick for a couple of days.)  I think I have bad sick day karma. This news came after I spent the better part of my waking hours trying to procure staff for the surging census at the hospital. Now I feel like a major jerk having to call in at work, and I know the day will be crappy for those left behind, including the people who kindly agreed to do an extra shift. I have major sick day guilt!

Who cares for those who care?

Even though I’m not the one actually ill, I do have to stay and care for my little poopers (aka kids…is it bad to use feces in pet names?). I feel that insane pressure to NOT call in. What will they do without me at work?  I have major sick call guilt!

Why? The American workplace, for the most part, fosters abandonment of self care (or family care) for commitment to the company. We work frequently alongside colleagues who should be home getting better, or at the bedside of a loved one. There can be expectations to show up, sick or not, which actually contributes to more lost days as germs are spread and people don’t take time to fully recover. Worry over missing work further causes stress and illness.

I talked to a friend today that said she couldn’t take time off work to care for a critically ill brother in another state, because her workplace would not grant her the time. The federal Family Medical Leave Act sadly does not consider a sibling to be an immediate family member, so a leave of absence would be “unprotected” and could result in termination of employment. Even when an employer must grant leave because of federal or state protections, it doesn’t mean you can afford it or that you have enough paid leave hours or sick time.

It’s hard to stay home if you need to. I suggest people build safety nets around themselves and their finances to help soften the blow.

Know the rules

• Familiarize yourself with workplace policies on sick days, and understand what benefits you get, if any, such as paid time off or short term disability.
• Read up on FMLA and your state’s medical leave laws, which can apply depending on the size of the company you work for. Sometimes intermittent leave can be used for chronic illness of yourself or a dependent.

Have the money to be sick

• Keep an emergency fund for lost wages and unexpected medical or travel costs.
• Don’t use up your paid hours for fake sick days at the beach!
• Consider short term disability insurance to cover lengthy illnesses, injury recovery, or maternity leave.

Don’t get sick

• Sleep well, eat well, love well and exercise!
• Take planned time off. Burnout and stress will catch up with you.
• Wash your damn hands and keep them off your face. Your eyes and nose can be more susceptible to germs than your mouth, so pretend there is a force field around them. Teach yourself to wash your hands properly with this Glo Germ kit. (I used it to train my kids).
• Take care of your gut. A big part of your immune system resides here so give it props.

Plan for inevitable life emergencies

• Set up work systems so someone can take over essential functions in your absence. Know who you will delegate to in an emergency.
• Have alternate child/elder/pet care arrangements as back up.
• Know what transportation options to take if your car breaks down or weather gets crazy.
• Choose the right village. Surround yourself with people who support you at home and and at work, and support them too.

Now that my sick call to work has been made I shouldn’t waste my day…or should I?  Technically I’m paying for it, so it’s mine to use on lying in bed, which is what an afflicted person would do: watching tv, eating ramen, and not showering. I have to be careful with my sick day karma, and I wouldn’t want to upset the delicate balance of the universe. Bring on the Netflix!