Tag: making new habits

Sleep is a slippery fish

Sleep is a slippery fish

As I write it is nearly 3:00 am and I’ve already ruined the morning. Yesterday was hectic at work and involved a crushing deadline, a visit from regulatory surveyors, a giant Frappuccino, and a late-night chicken wing indiscretion while standing in front of the stove. By the time I went to bed I had to flush the day from my mind, so I wound up watching several episodes of Mad Men on the tiny screen of my phone, as not to wake the grizzly bear or our cub.

I dread 6:30, a blink away, when I have to get up, wearing the affect of the undead, to wake my kids and usher them toward the front door to go to school. I’m gonna look like crap and feel even worse. Unfortunately, this is a pattern for me: be tired, make bad choices, push limits, crash and burn, repeat.

I wish I didn’t feel the urge to nap as often. Or wake up so many mornings unrested. And of course this happens because I am chronically sleep deprived.

Here’s why:

  1.  I have an erratic work and sleep schedule with varying bedtimes and wake times
  2. My family almost always awakens me before I am ready to rise on my days off. On work days I have to use an alarm.
  3. I bedshare with a baby, and a dude that wears a cpap (and who snores loudly when he doesn’t)
  4. My best thinking hours, and the only quiet time I get, come after 10pm
  5. I am a ponderer, a writer, a binge-watcher and reader, and I have an aversion to strict routines. I hold sleep an arm’s length away, as something yucky that eats up my time for other things.
  6. Oh, how I love staying up late and hate getting up early. My go-to rhythm is to stay up until 2 am and sleep til 9 or so, if nothing constrains my time. Current life does not accommodate this, and I’m not sure it’s entirely natural or healthy anyway.
  7. I have never made sleep a priority. It falls somewhere on the rankings near cutting my toenails, or cleaning the grease trap under the barbecue.

Why should I give sleep the time of day?

I don’t particularly like sleeping. I wish I could be Edward from Twilight so I never have to sleep and could spy on people instead or play broody piano in the dark. The only reason I give in to snoozing is because my body and brain must shut down; I’m like the robot girl from Small Wonder who eventually and reluctantly must recharge in her cabinet.

Connection between sleep and health

Sleep may seem like a waste of time, but it is valuable for the obvious reasons, and also in ways popular science doesn’t yet have a firm grasp on. Many metabolic, immunologic, and neurologic functions become disturbed when healthy sleep patterns cannot take place. We see this contribute to common health problems in lots of ways.

Metabolism

Sleep is “rest and digest” time, and our gut works the night shift with its bacterial contractors. Without adequate sleep we may see:

Immunological

  • Inappropriate inflammation and possible autoimmune disease
  • Reduction in the ability to ward off infections.  You may get sick more often and get sicker when you do.

Neurological

  • Interrupted or missing sleep cycles delay or omit brain maintenance (your brain should be de-fragging nightly)
  • Mental fog, mood disorders, and memory impairment result from not enough brain downtime. Alzheimer’s risk increases as sleep length decreases.
  • Gut-brain connections go haywire when neurotransmitter production and regulation isn’t done while asleep.  Neurotransmitters that your brain depends on are made in your intestines.

Slowed tissue generation and repair

  • Inhibition of exercise and delay in injury healing
  • Full recovery after particularly stressful times takes longer
  • Organs malfunction and cells die faster
  • Pain and discomfort might increase

Imagine a battery with a current of energy running from it. One possible path of energy goes toward waking functions, like walking, mental alertness, and eating. A second path goes toward all the maintenance that must go on, like digestion, repairs, and the other things listed above. That current can’t go down both paths at the same time. A switch must be flipped to take us from action to maintenance, and then back again. I need to take back control of my switch. Or, more accurately, I need to surrender control back to the rhythms of nature, rather than my forced schedule.

The more I list the more I see how much sleep could be the key to increased health, and how much I’ve neglected by simply not making it a priority.

How can I get better rest?

Bringing personal baggage to bed with you can make you lose sleep.
Try not to bring your personal baggage and pervasive thoughts to bed with you. There’s just not enough room for it all.

Everyone has different reasons for not getting enough sleep, and each individual should be tailoring their sleep interventions to match their life and situation.  I can think of a bunch of different things I’m not doing consistently that might help me get better sleep.

  1. Wind down time. Leaving enough time before my sleep deadline to mentally decompress. Consider a new “ready for bed” time as a buffer. I think I need 30-60 minutes beforehand to transition.
  2. Darkness and coolness. Get rid of all artificial light a little before bedtime and keep the window cracked when weather allows, for breezes and fresh air.
  3. Exercise. Working out hard makes me sleep hard. As long as it’s not too hard, because this makes me want to nap hard at inappropriate times.
  4. Daytime light. At least 10 minutes of outdoor time in daylight whether I’m at work or home. (Preferably an hour or more in morning light, which is easier on my days off.) I need to take my breaks outdoors, or at least under the skylight or large window, when working inside all day.
  5. Reduce stress and stop bringing baggage to bed with me. Process stress before my sleep deadline. I can talk with my family or friends, journal, do yoga, or listen to guided meditation.
  6. Caffeine elimination. I don’t drink caffeine regularly, and it can affect my sleep. I should reserve it for my days off. Compounds in chocolate can have the same effect, so I need to rethink my choice of treats.
  7. Regular bedtime. Get more of a routine going. My bedtime can vary up to 4 hours. I think going to bed between 10 and 11 pm sounds reasonable.
  8. Fall in love with sleep again. (As if I ever did!) Or at least learn to live peacefully in an arranged marriage with sleep. I want us to tolerate each other with warm companionship and embrace complacent efficiency. This I have yet to really think about, but it probably has something to do with finding secondary wins in going to bed.
  9. Control what I eat and drink before bed. Salty or sugary things make me piss. If I’ve eaten poorly all day and stayed dehydrated, I get thirsty at the end of the day to catch up. This is no bueno. More than crying babies or snoring spouses, having to pee in the middle of sleep is the number one thing that makes me wake up before I’m ready.

This sleep struggle has been an ongoing thing and will not change overnight (pun intended). It involves modification of behaviors and a change in deep-seated beliefs. I act as though sleep is a slippery fish, so hard to catch because of it’s nature. But really, I’m the one repelling sleep, fighting it away and defying a natural function my body needs. Sleep should not be held at arm’s length, because even in arranged marriages there are duties to perform, if you catch my drift. 😉

long-butted pants exemplify the connection between deep-seated beliefs and health
My problems all stem from my deep-seated beliefs

For further reading (of long, nerdy science-y articles):

Sleep and autoimmune disease

Body clocks

Light and metabolism

It’s All in the Transition

It’s All in the Transition

I listen to heart monitor alarms all day long at work.  My mind must be constantly alert and listening subconsciously for these (which can be life-saving) along with patient call bells, patient screams, code blue announcements, my work cell phone, my personal cell phone, the unit landline, and whatever else is going on.

By the time I get home my ears and brain are fried, but a new set of noises starts. The exhaust fan is on over the stove. The TV or computer might be blaring. I am immediately bombarded by the insistent requests of my family who has been awaiting my return, with homework and dinner and school papers and wanting to talk about their days. I am excited to see them too, but I am overwhelmed by the sounds and busyness.  My mind is still in fight or flight mode, but needs to be in nest and rest mode.  I want transition time.

Usually I get off work late, sometimes after 8pm, and I want to make every moment count before we put the kids to bed and eventually collapse.  But it’s just not that easy.  I feel the need to first wash the aura of other people’s feces and disease off my body.  I want to reset my brain to stop being hyper alert. In the meantime I only have one foot in the door and the rest of me is distracted and crabby.

I have started taking 15 minutes to shower and decompress in silence every evening before trying to focus on my kids—and it does wonders. Everyone in my house now knows to let me do this.  I go straight upstairs to rinse the workday away before they tug on my shirt and ask me to look at something or do something. Until I shift gears from work to home I can’t really be myself and relax.

I also have a hard time with the following transitions:

  1. Waking up…to doing something productive in the morning on my days off
  2. Getting out of the house…to exercise in a timely manner
  3. Being busy…to slowing down and going to sleep
  4. Focusing on my kids…to taking time for my romantic relationship

Transitions are important but don’t get enough attention. People don’t usually budget time for crossing the delta between activities that require different brain cells and a change in skill set. Taking a moment to properly reset can lower stress and increase productivity. It allows for less distraction and more intensity in the now.

Planning for transitions can also set limits on mindlessness.  (Such as 2 hr Facebook/gaming/YouTube time sucks!)  Repeated, lengthy devotion to mind-numbing activities is attractive when we feel overloaded by real life and need to escape it. If we respect transition time and use it wisely we can reduce the need to mentally check out as a coping mechanism.

The best way to get from one activity to another is to first acknowledge that a shift is needed, and then decide what is important for you to be successful in the next phase.

Transitions can include:

  • A quiet, still moment to reset
  • Time to get ideas or to-dos written or typed for later
  • Planning for the next day
  • A physical move from one location to the next
  • A change in uniform
  • Optimizing your environment
    • Staging or lining up your tools
    • Cleaning up
  • Setting the tone with music or lighting
  • A change in audience and attitude
  • A signal to focus on the next thing (such as an alarm or timer)
  • An internal pep talk to get yourself psyched
  • Anything that clears your mind and gives you peace

Transitioning can mean calming down. It can also mean gearing up, getting focused, planning, or stopping in a good spot.  It requires mindfulness and awareness and takes time to make a habit of.

Wearing too many hats at once makes for a very heavy head. Chin up!

Too many hats makes for a very heavy head. Chin up! Only one hat at a time for a successful daily transition.

*Drawing with a mouse is like eating with a plastic spork or getting dressed in the dark…it can be done, but it is far from ideal.

What Reminds You of Your Real Goals?

What Reminds You of Your Real Goals?

 

I often lose sight of what I really want.  It is easy to get caught up in things that don’t really matter, distractions and avoidances that help dilute the sting of failure when trying to reach a goal.  Sometimes those coping mechanisms are in direct opposition to my true desires.

I can get depressed or bored thinking about my health problems and it makes me want a Monte Cristo sandwich or something fried dipped in ranch dressing.  It is no secret that I have overeating tendencies and I also have what I like to refer to as “blood sugar issues”.   Hyperglycemia can lead to so many poor outcomes.  I am fully aware of how losing one’s eyesight, kidneys, or legs can be devastating to quality of life. I have personally wrapped the stumps of newly amputated legs of diabetic patients. And then watched the patients call their families and friends to sneak them thick stacks of tortillas or a 2 liter of cola. Even when loss is fresh, and literally painful, old habits die hard.

I have considered tattooing the likeness of my kidney or heart on my arm as a reminder that what I eat might take those things from me someday. It is damn hard to keep motivation going, to keep goals and realities at the forefront of my thoughts, intentions, and actions.  Ultimately it is my desire to live a long and healthy life.  To spend as much time as possible with people I love doing things I enjoy.  In order to do those things I need my organs and my ability to walk, to see.  So why can’t I be honest with myself when I binge eat a cake, that I am sorta killing myself in shortened life or functionality?  The ideal would be to preserve my health, not squander it foolishly.

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