Getting out of work on time is hard for me most evenings. I tend to want closure, to wrap up a thought so I can send it away from my mind safely, without it dangling underfoot like an untied shoestring.  This leads to me doing “just one more thing”, and the thing leads to another issue of some sort that sends me off on a tangent.  I get waylaid. But I want to be able to quit without feeling weird and perseverating over open loops.

It’s not only at the end of the day, or simply a problem at work. Not stopping is an affliction that makes all my boundaries blurry and keeps me from feeling accomplished. I see a something that needs doing and I want to fix it, but I can’t possibly fix everything today, this week, or ever.

Why can’t I be happy simply making progress?

Working as a nurse manager is the type of job that requires a lot of pissing on fires and on-the-spot decision making. I spend most of my time being called/approached/interrupted by patients and employees needing help. This suits me in some ways because I never have to pay attention for long before another issue comes to usurp the last one. On the other hand it is very hard to get long term projects done, or to actually finish fixing anything brought to my attention, no matter how small.

What’s missing is the daily satisfaction of seeing something though, to be able to choose the priority of a project and work creatively with focus until it’s done. Because the nature of my work is busy and reactive I push those desires to the fringes of my day and I end up not wanting to leave until I feel in control again.

I also have the martyr’s habit of taking responsibility for more that I should, leaving me with a big pile of unfinished business with varying levels of urgency. It is hard at the end of a long scatter-brained day to triage those priorities, and I might spend a few more confused minutes picking my ass or looking for a lost pen when I should be getting home to my family. (I should note here that these ass-picking feelings can also be the same at home, so I rarely really feel productive.)

Respecting the end of the shift

What I’ve started to do is try to respect the end of my shift, to honor the boundary of the end of the day. I have a million and one semi-formed thoughts to process. Instead of letting these things keep me there, or fester overnight, I need to process them accordingly. Here’s how I do it:

1. Remove myself from the action

I need to stop the onslaught of requests by making myself unavailable. At a reasonable cutoff I no longer answer calls, alarms, or emails. I physically go somewhere quiet where no one can easily find me to finish urgent work.

2. Hand off the baton

Delegating pressing matters to someone else is the only way to get out the door sometimes. Trusting that others can finish up on things that can’t wait until my return is hard but necessary.

3. Planning and prioritizing for the next day

I physically write a prioritized list of all my thoughts and leave it in my desk drawer. It gets ideas out of my brain and tucks them in for the night so they can sleep while I do. I might also break one idea into a bunch of smaller pieces so that there is a clear way to get started, and make incremental progress, when I return the next day. I feel much better leaving when I know there’s a plan.

4. Making an exit strategy

Having a wind-down routine for the work day is just like a bed time routine.  Setting a realistic quit time and having a reliable mental checklist to get there is key, as well as starting this in the last 1/4 of the day.

Humans thrive off of doing, making, innovating. I would like to experience more of these things in a meaningful, productive way. I want to feel good about my efforts and have a work-home balance that suits me. What I need to do is clock out physically and mentally when the day is through so I can return ready for action in the morning. Doing “one more thing” shouldn’t tackle any new issue, nor an old thing that can wait until tomorrow. It should be the act of leaving itself.